My Heart Breaks

I escaped Syria because I didn’t want to be killed. But here I’m dying too, slowly.

von REFUGEE VOICE, Boryana Ivanova

Foto: Boryana Ivanova

I escaped Syria because I didn’t want to be killed. But here I’m dying too, slowly. Every day I come to the Asylum Office and wait for my papers. I stare at the screen for ten hours to see if my number will show up. Bit by bit my hope gives way to anxiety and fear. I’m worried because I need to find a job and get my family here as soon as possible. Every day when I hear bad news from Damascus my heart breaks. I fear for the life of my wife and my four kids. It was a very difficult decision to go to Europe without them.

Coming to Germany was a nightmare, I crossed seven countries and took some serious beating in Turkey and Hungary. But being stuck in a limbo here is even more difficult. I’ve been waiting for a month for my papers and I’m ready to wait for another month. If I don’t have the papers until then I will try to get my passport back and return to Syria. I have no money but I’m sure God will help me on my way. I know my family needs me and I cannot let them down.
Back in Damascus, I was working with deaf blind children. I was always amazed how accurate their perception of people and situations was. Not being able to use their eyes made their hearts much more sensitive and open. I miss those kids and feel that in a way I’ve betrayed them by leaving. That’s another difficult choice I have to live with. I hope that in the end all the pain and difficulty of coming here will be justified

Boryana Ivanova launched REFUGEE VOICE as an attempt to humanise the discussion on refugees and change the often negative perceptions that people have towards them. REFUGEE VOICE wants to  show that every person has their worries and their dreams.