My Heart Breaks
I escaped Syria because I didn’t want to be killed. But here I’m dying too, slowly.
I escaped Syria because I didn’t want to be killed. But here I’m dying too, slowly. Every day I come to the Asylum Office and wait for my papers. I stare at the screen for ten hours to see if my number will show up. Bit by bit my hope gives way to anxiety and fear. I’m worried because I need to find a job and get my family here as soon as possible. Every day when I hear bad news from Damascus my heart breaks. I fear for the life of my wife and my four kids. It was a very difficult decision to go to Europe without them.
Coming to Germany was a nightmare, I crossed seven countries and took some serious beating in Turkey and Hungary. But being stuck in a limbo here is even more difficult. I’ve been waiting for a month for my papers and I’m ready to wait for another month. If I don’t have the papers until then I will try to get my passport back and return to Syria. I have no money but I’m sure God will help me on my way. I know my family needs me and I cannot let them down.
Back in Damascus, I was working with deaf blind children. I was always amazed how accurate their perception of people and situations was. Not being able to use their eyes made their hearts much more sensitive and open. I miss those kids and feel that in a way I’ve betrayed them by leaving. That’s another difficult choice I have to live with. I hope that in the end all the pain and difficulty of coming here will be justified